Am I too demanding?

I think that I have complained more since I moved to Spain than in all my years before that. You could think that my standards or expectancies are too high. But, then again, is it unreasonable to expect others to know their job and to perform their professional duties correctly, decently and respectfully?

Yes, I complain. I complain a lot about how I am being treated by some people, and how things are done in this country. I think I am not wrong when expecting a certain level of competence when requesting a service, be it in a shop or at a governmental office. Are my standards too high for Spanish society?

I have plenty of examples of how things went wrong or did not go at all, unprofessional treatment, unknowledgeable service providers, and lack of interest in one’s job. My friends know all about that. And this week I added a new experience.

The first time I was called cariño (honey), some years ago, by the cashier at a supermarket, I was surprised. Did I know this lady? No. Did she know me? I doubted that as I had just moved to that neighborhood. Then, why did she call me cariño? Well, never mind, no harm intended. Ever since, I am used to being called cariño by female shop assistants and cashiers, regardless of whether they know me or not. I do not consider it very professional, though.

But last week I witnessed what I think was the most unprofessional behavior I have ever been a witness of. I was shocked, astounded, flabbergasted. Did I really hear that correctly? Was she addressing my mother like that?

My mother had some doubts about a bank account and went to the bank for more information, and I accompanied her. Not a new bank, the bank she has been using for some years now. I guess she goes to the bank once a month, so she is not well-known by the people who work there. Needless to say, my mother is not a financial expert, but she knows her way around banks and bank accounts, and she is well-behaved.

When it was her turn, the assistant manager called us in. After the usual greetings, my mother explained her doubts, and the assistant manager started to answer my mother’s questions. And then, all of a sudden, I heard her say cariño. To my mother, who, as she herself said later, could have been the mother of the assistant manager.

I let it slide. But there it was again! I looked at my mother. I knew she was thinking the same as I was: “Excuse me? Do we know each other?” Or something similar. As I was not the addressee, I bit my tongue. The assistant manager went on explaining and answering my mother’s questions. And then… I still cannot believe it… She addressed my mother with chuliña. Excuse me??!!!

In Galician, the language spoken in Galicia, in the northwest of Spain, chuliña is the diminutive of chula, meaning beautiful, gorgeous, used colloquially. Loosely translated it would mean sweetie. What did she think my mother was? An old lady who needed to be taken by the hand and have all explained as if she were a five-year-old? At this point, my mother said that she did not appreciate being addressed like that. The assistant manager of the bank apologized and went on calling her by her name.

Really! I still have no words to describe my indignation. How incredibly unprofessional! My mother is a client. You do not have to bow for her, but a simple madam or a decent you would suffice. Basic education, common sense, I would think. You do not have to go to university to learn that.

At least my mom and I have a laugh when remembering the event!

N.B. Please note that I am well aware of the fact that there are many very good professionals in Spain, and that I am not perfect myself. So, either I am jinxed and keep finding myself assisted by those lesser professionals, or I am too demanding.